Nurture, Nature, and how they really work together
What science is catching up to is the fact that you really cannot extricate the nature from the nurture and vice versa.
The environment in which you live influences your genes, your behavior, your very essence.
And, in turn, these encoded bits that are cobbled together to make up the one, unique Y-O-U very much can influence the environment from which you find yourself in.
For example, if you’re living in a constant state of anxiousness, your sympathetic nervous system is activated.This 500-million-year-old system drives all sorts of biological processes, the most familiar of which is the “fight or flight” response. Kinda hard fighting against that ancient, ingrained Nature.
Nearly impossible, really.
But living in this state can cause a host of biological ailments, from heart disease to cancer, and everything in between. Not to mention the mental toll it takes to be living in a constant state of hyper-awareness.
Our essential self, who we really are— the part of us that knows our purpose in life, that moves with confidence and courage— is buried underneath this hardwired system.
It works to keep us safe if, say a bear attacks us.
But living day to day… it makes life, truly living with joy and wonder, near impossible.
So how can you get out of said state, signal to your nervous system that you are safe, there is in fact, no saber tooth tiger swiping her paws at your from the mouth of the cave.
As with most life altering things, the answer is simple:
Change your environment.
Two easy ways to do this:
- Go outside. Literally change the environment you’re in and go outside. For a walk, to sit under a tree. Doesn’t matter if it’s in a park or on a sidewalk, simply Go. Outside.
- Take big, deep belly breaths. This will change your internal environment. So often we take our breath from our chest, which doesn’t do much to fully oxygenate our cells, or signal to our body that we’re safe. Place a hand on your belly, and on your (slow) inhale, watch it rise. Exhale (even slower) and watch it fall.
More simple (though maybe not easy) ways to regulate your nervous system:
Feed yourself nourishing foods.
Spend time doing things that you love.
Try something that you’ve always wanted but have been “too scared” or “too old” or “too young” or “it’s just not the right time.”
You can get yourself out of an anxiety state by doing any of the above (outside time and breathing are probably the most fast-acting) but how do you prevent this stressy feeling in the first place?
Consistency and regularity.
What does your day look like? Do you wake to a list of grudging to-dos, have to take care of other people from the minute you open your eyes?
Do you work all day and then come home to care for your family some more, taking the only “me-time” at the end when you’re bone tired and all you have energy for is mindless scrolling or collapsing on the couch with your favorite streaming service?
Put your oxygen mask on first. If you aren’t breathing, alive, fully conscious, how on earth can you expect yourself to be able to help others?
Right here, right now make a list of things that light you up. That bring you joy, or a sense of peace.
Maybe it’s a walk. Could be in a particular place or just around the block.
Perhaps you just really love going to coffee shops and people watching.
Or losing yourself in a book store.
How can you integrate these things into your life regularly?
In her book The Deepest Well, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris writes how there are specific strategies for healing the stress response: sleep, mental health, healthy relationships, exercise, and nutrition.
I would add in there that we need Nature, time spent unplugged outside, to really complete this picture of wellness.
What do these six pillars look like for you?
Are they something that you regularly, consistently show up for or is it “Oh that’s nice but I have XYZ to do and need to take care of ABC first?”
Could you integrate an (unplugged) daily walk with a friend? Community, Nature, exercise. All good for mental health. Four pillars checked off.
What if you woke up and went outside and gasp danced? It could be in the cloak of darkness, in the privacy of your own balcony, or in the middle of a crowded lawn. Whatever floats your boat.
Two things will likely happen: 1. You’ll laugh at yourself (great!) or 2. You’ll actually get really into it and feel a connecting between your body and the earth (double great!)
It’s a paradox: getting out of our comfort zone can also get us out of this hyper-alert, something is going to eat me phase. The trick is to make it fun.
In our fast paced, go-go-go lives where we’re constantly plugged into what’s going on in the world, there are ways that we can slow down, center ourselves, and approach life with a zest instead of a dread. It’s up to you how you tap into that part of yourself, and what that integration truly looks and feels like.
Whatever it is that nurtures you, I hope you make time for it. Every. Day.
Cook yourself nourishing meals.
Spend time outside.
Have a long chat with a friend over coffee or tea.
Move your body every day.
Do something that makes your heart happy.
You can create the life you were born for.
It starts with you.
And it starts with your next choice.
What will you choose?