Black and white photo of an abandoned boat on a sandy shore in Donegal, Ireland.

Why Saying ‘I Don’t Have Time’ Keeps You Stuck (And How to Fix It)

“I don’t have time.”

I’ve heard this excuse so many times, I could wallpaper my office with variations of it. Honestly, I’ve probably invented a few new versions myself.

This can also sound like:

“I’m so busy.”
“There’s just so much going on.”
“I can’t possibly fit that in.”

  • Things that I’ve recently heard people say they wish they could do, but “don’t have time” for:
  • Exercising
  • Going to the beach (they live 15 minutes away)
  • Learning to play the violin (collecting dust since before iPhones)
  • Gardening
  • Switching jobs/careers
  • Creating a local meetup group (or showing up to one)

Sure, sometimes life genuinely steamrolls you. New baby, job transition, family crisis… these are acute situations that require inordinate amounts of time and energy. For today, I’m talking about the chronic, can-never-seem-to-Get-R-Done type of ‘busy.’

The people who claim they’re ‘too busy’ often spend 2+ hours daily on activities they can’t remember by bedtime. Netflix autoplay, anyone? How about doom scrolling on the ‘gram?

There is power in words. When we say “I don’t have time” it’s as if an external force has control over what we do with our time. “It’s not a priority right now” puts us back in the driver’s seat: we dictate what is most important to us, and how we want to spend our time.

One experiment I’ve found particularly fascinating is time tracking; I wanted to see I my priorities aligned with how I spent my time. So, I downloaded a free app from the app store (Toggl), and started tracking. It’s been fascinating to see the hard data against what I think I spend most of my time on.

For those who are curious…

What I spend the most time on: being with, and taking care of, my family. I knew this, and am totally good with it. This is very intentionally the season of life I’m in. The eye-opener? I work on my book for an average of 30 minutes a day. In my head, I’m practically Hemingway, churning out prose for hours. In reality, I spend more time thinking about my novel than actually writing it.

So how on Earth do I make time in an already seemingly full schedule for a high priority item? I’m so glad you asked. Making time for truly High Priority items can go a few different ways:

Say No.
Say no to outings, events, committees, anything that would add to your schedule and take time away from your real priorities.

If you are one of the millions of people who have an allergy to saying no, here are some classy, gentle ways to do it:

  • “Thank you for thinking of me, but I just can’t commit to it right now.”
  • “Unfortunately, I don’t have the bandwidth for this right now, but I hope it goes well.”


  • “I’m honored you thought of me, though I’ll have to pass this time.”

And if the person is really persistent, you can always rely on words from Mark Twain in his purported letter to the White House declining a committee position for “reasons which I need not specify, since they are of a private and personal nature—some public, some private, all secret.”

“Sorry I can’t attend that costume party for secret reasons” has a certain je ne sais quoi about it.




Subtract.
Remove all the things that aren’t really aligned with what you want to spend your time with. These are things you may have already said “yes” to, or it could be future events that you know are coming up.

An example in my own life: extracurriculars for children. Unpopular opinion: kids do not need to be signed up for activities. It’s good for kids to have unstructured play, use their imaginations, and not have an adult tell them how to play and move their bodies— and I don’t need to play chauffeur every day.

Do it first.
That thing that you said was a priority? Just do it first. Don’t wait until the dinner is cooked, dishes are done, the workout is complete, dog is fed, you’ve got your Girl Scout cookie order in, and then sit down to do The Thing.

It’s not about getting through a to-do list. The to-list will always be there, will perpetually grow longer. Instead, it’s about doing The Thing That Matters first. Spend the two hours learning to play an instrument, or researching a career change, and trust that the things that need to get done, will get done. And if they don’t… are they really a priority?

Warren Buffett, Sylvia Earle, and Jason Mamoa all have one thing in common: they have the same 24 hours you do. So does that person you follow on Instagram who seems to have their life together. The difference isn’t time—it’s choices.

You don’t need more hours. You need fewer “yeses.”

So, what’s your first no going to be?